My mom made this wreath for the girls coming home!
I started this post over a week ago but did not finish it until today...busy being a mama!! So I'll start from the beginning...
March 24--The Day
My c-section was scheduled for 12:30. Andrew and I awoke early that morning from a sleepless and anxious night. We just could not wrap our heads around the fact that today was the day we were going to meet these long awaited, precious girls. After taking our time to get ready to head to the hospital, we ended up running late trying to get the carseats in the car at the very last minute. I know, they should have already been in the car but they weren't. We arrived at the hospital, checked in and waited to be taken back to our room where they would begin prepping me. I am relatively calm at this point. I think I released most of my anxiety the weekend before and was now just excited and ready to meet them. We are taken to an area where a nurse begins to prep me. They hook me up to an IV and started pumping liquids through me. (At this point, I have not been able to eat or drink anything since midnight and was so thirsty!!!) Andrew, on the other hand, was very nervous and bouncing off the walls. Everything moved pretty fast at this point. I was expecting to just be sitting around waiting for surgery for a couple of hours but that wasn't the case. Our parents came by to see us before they wheeled me off to the OR. Once I got into the OR, I immediately started to freak out. Maybe it was the bright lights or the coldness or the 15 other people in there getting ready for surgery....not sure but I was not doing good. Andrew was waiting outside while they gave me my epidural and got me all ready. But I was shaking and crying so much that they asked if I needed him to come in. I wanted him in there now! Then it really went fast. Andrew came in, my Dr. arrived, they pulled a sheet up so we couldn't see what was going on. I remember just staring at Andrew, waiting to hear cries, asking every five seconds if they were here. Then they were....I can't even describe all the emotions that go through you the first time you see your babies. It almost didn't even seem real. That these two precious, healthy babies were a piece of Andrew and me. I wanted to bottle all of those feelings up right at that moment and take them home to open on a dreary day. Because if there is ever a bad day, just remembering how I felt at that moment will definitely cheer me up. Andrew, who seemed completely cool and collected during delivery, informed me that he was actually a nervous wreck but he was trying to be strong for me because clearly I was a nervous wreck and didn't need him being one as well!
Caroline Von 4 lbs. 15.7 oz. 17 inches
Charlotte Blair 4 lbs. 15 oz. 17 inches
Don't ask me how I had 10 lbs. of baby in me but I did!
Once they cleaned and warmed the girls up, they handed them to me to hold as they took me to recovery. Our moms came in first to see their new granddaughters! It took about an hour before I started feeling really sick. I got dizzy and nauseated and could not really even open my eyes or I would throw up. I was falling asleep and not breathing so they hooked me up to oxygen. The nurses called my doctor and anesthesiologist. They came and started giving me medicine to decrease the nauseating feeling. After three different kinds, nothing worked. I was not able to hold the girls or even breastfeed. I had to stay in recovery to be monitored until 9 that night. I didn't start feeling better until around 3 the next morning and that is when I was first able to really hold the girls. They seemed so tiny and perfect. Andrew instantly became this wonderful Dad. He had another night of no sleep because all he did was stand over and watch them. We ended up staying four nights in the hospital because Andrew wanted to make sure we were very prepared to go home with this precious cargo. He did so by asking every new nurse we had, day and night, every question he could think of. I don't think we could have been any more prepared. The girls dropped some weight while they were in the hospital and were down to 4 lbs. 10 oz. for Caroline and 4 lbs. 9 oz. for Charlotte. This was normal but since they were so small, we had to keep a close eye on their temperature. So that is why they are usually wrapped up and wearing hats in most pictures.
To be honest, not sure which baby this is
Andrew's mother, a.k.a LaLee
My mother, a.k.a. Tonna
Caroline (left) and Charlotte (right)
It was nice to finally bring the girls home. However, the first night home was not what we expected. Both girls, starting around midnight, began to cry at the top of their lungs. I don't know how something so tiny could actually make this loud of a noise! Their bodies were jolting, arms were flying. We had no idea what was wrong and of course being new parents, called the hospital. They told us the girls were probably just colicky. JUST colicky! I did not want to have two colicky babies!! I had heard of parents that had one colicky baby and I just didn't think I could handle that! We had a few more nights like this and then went to see their pediatrician. He gave us a different formula to use and it has helped so much. We haven't had any nights as bad as those. We are having to supplement with formula because I am not making enough milk to feed them both.
The first two weeks, my mother was here helping and I really don't know how we could have made it without her. She took an early morning feeding for us so we could get a couple consecutive hours of sleep. Plus, she basically waited on me hand and foot so I could recover from the c-section. Boy, did we miss her when she left. My in-laws came this past weekend to help and that was great. I also have a lady that comes two times a week for half a day. She is wonderful. I hand the girls off to her and try to get a few hours of sleep. She does what laundry I have ready for her, feeds the girls, changes diapers, washes bottles and cooks lunch.
I can't believe how much the girls have grown and changed in just a couple of weeks. I look back at the pictures from the first couple of days and they don't even seem like the same babies! I think the girls definitely look like sisters but we can tell them apart. Charlotte's cheeks are a little more full and a nose like a button (Andrew calls her Button for that reason). Caroline's face is a little more lean and slim. They already have such different personalities, very similar to what Andrew and I thought they would be like from when I was pregnant with them. Caroline was the kicker in my belly and she is still the wiggly worm (that's what Andrew calls her). She already has such a personality. She smiles when Andrew tickles her belly and slaps our hands away when she doesn't want her pacifier. Charlotte was very calm in my stomach and still is. She is quiet and sweet. At only a week old she could already hold her pacifier in her mouth herself. Both girls can hold up their heads on their own, which blew my mind considering how tiny they are! I can't wait to watch them grow. At their two week check-up, Caroline weighed 5 lbs. and was 18 1/4 inches and Charlotte weighed 4 lbs. 15 oz. and was 18 1/2 inches.
Andrew giving nose kisses...love it!
Charlotte loves her friends
Charlotte
Caroline
Caroline loves sleeping with her arms up
Finally lost those hats and got some bows!
Charlotte (left) and Caroline (right)
I think for having two girls, it really hasn't been too bad. They sleep most of the nights now, just waking up to eat. The feeding process takes me a good hour when I do it alone. That is if I don't have to change more than one diaper each or their clothes. Then it can take them up to 30 minutes to fall asleep sometimes after their feeding. They will make little noises and of course, I can't sleep through those so I may get an hour of sleep but sometimes more before their next feeding. We may have a night where one will cry until I hold her. Then she goes straight back to sleep. It's easy to get frustrated when you are tired and a baby is crying but there is something so wonderful about that feeling of being needed and wanted. I love that when I pick one of them up, they instantly become happy and at peace. They know that I'm their mama and when Andrew holds them, that he's their daddy. And I just keep telling myself that I will miss these times. Even through the sleep deprivation, six poopy diapers in a night, crying....that I will miss the days when they want me to hold them and that by me just doing that simple thing, they feel better.
I'm teary-eyed right now writing this because being a mama is so amazing....it's who I was meant to be, what I was meant to do.
